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Wednesday, December 26, 2018

My Rants for 2018

Assalamualaikum.
Hey. Hi. Hello.

How’s life, guys? I hope everything is well.
There are only a few more days left before 2019 and I feel like 2018 goes by really fast. So this is about my life in 2018. Hmm. More like problems I encountered early 2018.

Early this year, my family faced some difficulties. But there is one problem that messed us up mentally, for me at least. I thought my life would never be the same again and in the smallest part of me, I want it to change. I kind of mad that we (my family) still remain the same. It’s like the problem is there and all of us know that it exists but we decided to just ignore it. It took me a few months to ignore it and the only reason why I finally chose to ignore it because I still love my family. ‘Air yang dicincang tak akan putus’ right? Besides, I really don’t like to overthink (it hurts my brain) and I know that the person who caused the problem would not listen to me (as I was the only one who couldn’t ignore it) so, conclusion? IGNORANCE. I hate it so much but I just too tired and stressed as new problems came up. Oh, by the way, this particular problem happened around February.

What is this new problem that stressed me out that I made me choose ignorance? Internship! Here is some background of my uni life. I’m a Chemistry (Forensic Analysis) student. It is a three-year course which equals six semesters. Our final year project (fyp) starts during our fourth semester and ends at the fifth semester. The last semester is the industrial training period.  Training supposedly starts on 05/03/2018 until 21/06/2018 (16 weeks). As usual, we have to find the internship place ourselves. In our case, whoever wishes to do their internship at Ibu Pejabat Polis Kontinjen (IPK) and forensic laboratory, our supervisor would arrange it. I interested in doing my training at the forensic lab so, I gave my resume to him. Mind you that he said those who chose forensic lab did not have to worry and he said so many times that we would get accepted. I am not worried at all; I didn’t even think about it. All I think about is my fyp. Oh by the way, for IPK and forensic lab, the internship date starts on the 19th but the period remains the same; 16 weeks. Times went by and there is still no update from our SV. On 06/03/2018, my heart crushed. I was working at the moment (at McD) and my friend who applied at the same place as I am called me. It wasn’t busy so I pick up the call. She asked me if I have read the WhatsApp to which I said no and she said that we were NOT ACCEPTED! Honestly, my heart stopped for a second. So, I hung up, read the text and immediately message my SV. Can you guess what he said to me? He said, “Don’t worry just find another place”. WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK DUDE!! (I'm not cursing at my lecturer, just an expression) At this very moment, I have less than 2 weeks to find a place, to be accepted and to start training. My mind was not at my workplace. I couldn’t even function properly. So I told my manager that I couldn’t work the next week because I wanted to focus for my internship hunting. 4 weeks gone. Still, have no place. I’m so screwed. Ugh. Fortunately, my friend (who was called me) got accepted and supposed to start on 09/04/2018 and she told me to apply at the same place. I am so freaking grateful for my friend and would never forget what she did. I got accepted as well.

I am so stressed out during the whole 4 weeks. I’m not sleeping well, I’m not happy, and I always think of the worst case scenario where I was forced to push up my industrial training to next semester. That is something no one wants. If I was to extend my study period, let it be because I failed a subject or two and not because I couldn’t find an internship place which wasn’t even my fault. Ok. You might say, “You the one who ‘lepas tangan’ or you should always check with your lecturer or you should have a backup plan”. Alright people. First of all, I am not mad at my lecturer or 100% blame him for whatever happened, honestly. I’m more scared than mad. From what I can see, there are three sides to blame here; PDRM, my lecturer and me. The one who decide to not accept any student for IPK Selangor (did I not mention that they also got rejected) and forensic lab (only my friend and I applied for this place) was PDRM. The middle person was my lecturer. Basically, my lecturer needs to compile all of our resumes, transcripts and cover letters before sending them together to HQ. The process that took hell lot of time was for the PDRM to decide whether or not they going to accept us. The PDRM may be very busy and I didn’t even know how many stages it need to get through before they decide. Also, we did ask our lecturer multiple of times for any updates which either he just seen the text or replied,” Don’t worry. Those applied for IPK Selangor need to search for another place in case not accepted and the others have nothing worry about.” Well, he is a very busy person and I couldn’t blame him or push for an answer really. He just lost his father around that time. So..yeah. I also at fault, I guess. I should at least have one place in mind but then again the lecturer said not to be worried and risk of not to be rejected was very very low. Conclusion: always have a backup plan.

Currently, I’m working at my internship place. Only me. Why and what happened to my friend? That is for another long entry. I didn’t expect this to be a long rant. I wanted to summarise my 2018 year in this one entry but meh. It already too long. 

See ya.

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